"No, you're not sick. You're a perfectly normal teenage boy, though I see how you can get the two confused."

*snicker*

"Discretion is the better part of velcro."

Stolen from the long, long, long list of things one is not allowed to say or do at Hogwarts:

Professor Snape's skill as a Legilimens does not put him under Psi Corps jurisdiction.

Oh did that make me happy!

EDIT: Oh oh, just one more!

Not allowed to hire Aragog's children to spell out "Some Pig" in spiderweb over anyone's bed.

Hee!

"With friends like these, who needs halucinations?"

I really really really love John Astin. (Buddy from Night Court.) So very much love.

"Even gay penguins raise property values."

And NO, it's not by me:

I have ALLERGIES. Last thing I needed was a sinus full of semen.

*giggle*